Confessions of a Middleagedmom

surviving motherhood in the “middle ages”

Growing “Mean” Girls October 8, 2007

Filed under: children,Christianity,family,moms,toddlers — middleagedmom @ 9:09 pm
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Last night as I was flipping through channels on the TV (yes, I had a few minutes of TV time last night), I came across “Mean Girls” starring Lindsey Lohan. If you’ve ever seen it then you know that it’s about a group of “popular” girls who are mean to everyone else.

It reminded me of a story that my girlfriend shared with me on Saturday at lunch. She explained that her 7-year old daughter had a friend over to the house for a play date. My girlfriend’s friend called to ask if her daughter could join the other 2 for the play date. All 3 girls go to the same elementary school.  Some time during the day, my girlfriend’s daughter and the 1st friend decided to lock the 3rd girl out the bathroom. Then after opening the door, told the 3rd girl, “It’s all your fault!” I don’t remember the other scathing comment but the 3rd little girl was crushed. She went home and told her mother all about it. Needless to say, the mother called my girlfriend to explain the situation and share her concern regarding her daughter’s hurt feelings. Mind you, my girlfriend was out all day and her husband was “supervising” this play date so she was shocked after receiving the telephone call.  After getting off the phone, she “lectured” her daughter about the proper etiquette of playing together and treating others nicely. She also explained to her 7-year old, “Mommy’s friend is not going to want to be friends with me anymore because you were mean to …….!”

When I was in elementary school, I could be considered a “mean” girl because of something I did. I believe it was in 3rd grade.  My friends and I decided we didn’t like the new girl so we locked her in the bathroom and held the door shut until she started crying. I don’t remember all the details but we did get scoldings from our teacher. (If by chance you were the girl in the bathroom, I am so sorry and I hope you can accept this late apology.)

Isn’t it funny how girls are always the ones to say, “I’m not going to be your friend!” or “I don’t want to play with you!” It’s amazing how it starts at such a young age and continues on, even into adulthood.

Since I have a daughter (and possibly one more on the way), I hope and pray that I raise a “nice” girl. A girl who has integrity and self-confidence. A girl who cares about others as well as herself. A girl who can stand up for what’s “right” rather than “following the crowd.” A girl with a strong character, inner beauty,  and Godly values.


6 Responses to “Growing “Mean” Girls”

  1. marlajayne Says:

    I’ve read many times that girls use their tongues as weapons while boys use their fists. That’s a bit graphic, so I guess another way to put it is that females use a totally different type of “aggression” than males; they use what psychologists call relational aggression while men use the physical type. Why that is, I don’t know. The two X chromosomes maybe?

    From the glimpse into your personality that your blog provides, I don’t think you’ll have any problem raising a daughter with “strong character, inner beauty, and Godly character.”

  2. middleagedmom Says:

    I guess you’re right about boys and girls and how they express themselves. My nephew is “all boy” and has shown some tendencies towards using his body to get his way (either pushing, shoving, pulling or hittng). It amazes how young it starts!

    Thanks for your encouraging words! I really hope I can raise my daughter to be the best that she can be. I’m grateful to all the you and all the other mothers out in cyberspace who so generously share their thoughts/stories so that I can learn from them.

  3. marlajayne Says:

    As a mother, I’m sure you get plenty of advice from other people, so I’m going to add my two cent’s worth and say that without a doubt, love is the most important force in raising confident, kind, caring, responsible children.

  4. middleagedmom Says:

    Thanks for your two cent’s worth of advice! I totally agree with you on LOVE being the most important force in raising children. You should know!

  5. marlajayne Says:

    You must be into baby feet (judging from your avatar). So is my daughter, and my favorite photo of her children’s feet is one of her two year old right after she had her toenails polished this hot pink color. Cotton was between each toe, and..well, it’s precious.

  6. middleagedmom Says:

    You’re right…baby feet are the cutest thing in the world! So tiny and precious. That picture of your granddaughter’s feet with nail polish must be so cute, esp. at 2 years old. By the way, I couldn’t find your daughter’s blog. Do you have the exact web address?

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