Confessions of a Middleagedmom

surviving motherhood in the “middle ages”

“Joining the Ranks” October 10, 2007

Filed under: children,family,moms,toddlers — middleagedmom @ 10:56 pm
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Today I joined the ranks of the “working” mom. Of course, the word “working” is a misnomer since I have always been working, even as a SAHM.  Isn’t is strange when someone asks a SAHM if she has a job? That seems like a silly question!

I’ve read/heard a lot about “Mommy Wars” on the Internet and on TV.  As far as I’m concerned, I can’t seem to understand why there is even a so-called war. Why in the world are women “fighting” with each other about working or staying home? You don’t hear about men judging each other about such things.  I believe that we all do what we have to do to make “life” work for us. We each have our own set of values and priorities to live by. I admire women who choose to work outside of the home. I admire those women who choose to work at home taking care of their households and families. Each decision has it’s own positives and negative. I think we (women) should be supportive of each other and celebrate our choices. The common bond of Motherhood should be embraced rather than used as a dividing rod.

Enough of my soapbox! Today I “started” my part-time job. I am doing a lot of paperwork for this job so I am able to do a lot of it at home. I only have to go in to the office twice a week for a few hours each day. I guess the downside to working at home is that it will be difficult to work when Princess is awake and about. (Especially if you remember my previous post about Princess, the computer, and the 1st time out.) Right now I’ve decided that my work time will probably be during her naps or during the evening after she goes to bed. I’m also a little bummed that I’ll have less time to spend reading blogs and blogging. C’est la vie!

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7 Responses to ““Joining the Ranks””

  1. marlajayne Says:

    I hope your first day back at work went well. I’m a mom nearing the end of the middle years (can’t believe that!) who’s always worked outside of the home and then came home to “second shift” afterwards. One of my daughters is a stay-at-home mother who LOVES her role as Maseda CEO (how she refers to herself on her blog. She absolutely excels at what she does, and she can be found making pajama bottoms for her daughters (she just learned to sew), preparing gourmet meals (compared to what I used to prepare), breastfeeding her infant, reading to her children, taking the children on nature walks, redoing their budget…you get the picture. Had I stayed at home, I wouldn’t have been as effective or creative, and I don’t think my children would have turned out to be the exceptional children (I’m biased) that they are today.

    All that to say that I concur with you 100%. We need to support each other in our choices…and not just mothers but people in general.

  2. middleagedmom Says:

    Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting! I really enjoy hearing from others out there in blogland.
    I have to say that I really give you credit for being a mom who worked outside of the home and then came home to “second shift” afterwards. That takes a lot of energy and commitment. I don’t think I could do it as well as it sounds like you did, esp. by what you say about your amazing daughter. She sounds like “supermom” and more! I must say that she (your daughter) is the great mother that she is because she had a great mother in you, even if you were working outside of the home.

    My mother worked outside of the home for part of my childhood, then due to illness (RA) she had to stop working because of her disability. So I experienced both scenarios. I am so blessed to have had the experience. I have a great mother and am grateful to her for all that she has done for our family.

    I believe there are great mothers out there whether they work outside of the home or not. I really hope we all support each other in our choices. And yes, not just mothers but all people in general.

  3. marlajayne Says:

    As I reflect on those years, sometimes I wonder how I did it all and kept my sanity. However, that’s only as I look back. As I lived through the years, it was a different story. I was tired and stressed and stretched, but I just did what I needed to do when I needed to do it, and it seem natural.

    My daughter has a blog at blogspot (masdeamayhem) in case you ever want to check it out and see what an amazing gal she is. In fact, she’s the one who inspired me to start blogging. She has videos, slideshows, music, and of course the blog entries so I’m not up to her level…yet.

  4. marlajayne Says:

    Make that masedamayhem. I misspelled maseda in the prior entry. Also left off the ed in seemed, but it’s late and I’m entitled to an error or two.

  5. middleagedmom Says:

    I agree that you do what you need to do no matter how tired, stressed, or stretched you are! Funny how in the midst of it, things seems so overwhelming. I personally believe that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, even if we don’t understand it at the time or feel that we can handle it. I guess that’s what grace is all about.

    Thanks for sharing about your daughter’s blog. I would love to check it out. When I do, I’ll mention to her that I “met” you on my blog. Have a great weekend!

  6. marlajayne Says:

    Just a quick thought. I recently came across this great feature on npr.org entitled “This I Believe,” and I read some of the essays to get a feel for what the feature was all about. I liked some of them so much that I had a couple of my classes listen to them; they were about life and choices, etc. In one of them, the man is talking about how after his brother died, he became fully conscious of life for the first time. Before that, he said he was conscious in a fully aware and appreciative state maybe two percent of the time.

    Anyway, I read/heard that and thought, “That’s the way I used to be when I was a younger mother.” I thought mostly about matching socks, cooking dinner, helping with homework and not about some of life’s mysteries. I passed this newfound insight along to one of my daughters today, and we made sort of a pledge to always be as awake and aware as possible.

  7. middleagedmom Says:

    Great advice! Life is too precious to just let fly by.
    I guess as a young mother we are so caught up in the everyday “hustle and bustle” of our homes and families. We really need to take the time to apprciate life, the little things and the big ones too. I’ll look into the article. Thanks for sharing!


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