Confessions of a Middleagedmom

surviving motherhood in the “middle ages”

Airing Dirty Laundry October 26, 2007

Filed under: children,Christianity,dad,family,moms — middleagedmom @ 8:30 pm
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Mr. Mad just told me that my in-laws invited us over for Thanksgiving dinner along with my mother and my aunt and her family. The upcoming holidays has got me thinking about my dysfunctional family.

I know I’m not the only one with a dysfunctional family.  The fact is that I have a lot of friends with similar experiences. The reasons for the dysfunction vary but for the most part many of the problems arise out of money problems. Sad to say…maybe money IS the root of all evil.

In my case, there are many reasons why dysfunction exists. I do remember that when I was younger I promised myself that I would not let money get in the way of myla with my brother, esp. since I have only 1 sibling. The dysfunction really exists between my mother and one of her siblings and between my father and one of his siblings. By the way, my parents are divorced and my father is remarried and lives in another country.

Sadly, the dysfunction between my parents and their siblings has affected us (me and the cousins and our children).  How you ask? Well, ever since my grandmother passed away we have never gotten together as a family – my mom and her siblings and the children. The last time we were all together in one place was my grandmother’s memorial service. Too sad!  If we do have a “family” get together, it usually means someone is left out. I remember a comment made around the time of my grandmother’s illness. It was something like, “Once grandma dies, we won’t see each other anymore.” This is probably more true because the sibling that my mother and aunt don’t get along with lives at my grandmother’s old  house as does one of my cousins. So we rarely, if ever, see them at all. As for my dad’s side of the family, it is very similar.

I remember attending Mr. MaD’s uncle’s funeral. I had never met this uncle. Why? Well, it’s because this uncle had a falling out with Mr. MaD’s father and uncle. So, they never spoke to each other since the dreaded falling out.

The sad fact is that for most families dysfunction seems almost normal. There is hardly ever a chance for reconciliation since most people are either stubborn or unforgiving or both. Isn’t it funny how we find it so hard to forgive family members? Maybe it’s because we have higher expectations of them.  It’s easy to forget that in the end we only have 1 family. Yes, I know I have my own family now – Mr. MaD, Princess, and baby. But, I mean the extended family of parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I wonder if things will ever change? I wonder if it will only “end” when someone passes away? That would be so very sad!

I know that at this point in time, I must let go and let God. I also know that scripture says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18) I hope and pray that my family will find reconciliation and God’s peace, for the sake of OUR children.


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