Confessions of a Middleagedmom

surviving motherhood in the “middle ages”

Being a Middleagedmom Raising a Daughter December 13, 2007

Filed under: children,Christianity,dad,discipline,family,moms,toddlers — middleagedmom @ 8:35 pm
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Recently, we were driving on the freeway and a “hot rod” Corvette sped by us. I told Mr. MaD that I must be getting old because the loud roar of the engine drove me crazy with irritation. Then I said, “When Princess grows up, I don’t want her to date a guy who drives a hot rod car!” Mr. MaD laughed.

I know that I’m getting old because those “hot rod” cars really irritate me. They are so loud, esp. when you’re trying to sleep at night. One of our neighbors has a boyfriend with a car like that and believe me, it is loud at 3:00am when you’re trying to sleep, even with the air conditioner on.  Not only are the cars loud, usually the stereos in those cars are blaring too!

So, what will I say when Princess asks me, “Mom, did you ever date a guy who drove a hot rod car?” What will I say? Well, in my younger days I used to have a really good guy friend who drove a hot rod car. He used to race it at the race track too! Yes, I did ride around with him in that car. So…what will I say?

When I was around 30 years old, I remember one of my girlfriends who had a teenage daughter tell me that she would have to tell her daughter some “little white lies” about her past. Why? Well, let’s just say that my girlfriend was a wild thing in her younger days. Now as a mother, she didn’t want her daughter to repeat some of her past behaviors, esp. since times have changed since we were younger.

Let’s face it. As time goes on and we, mothers, get older we either forget or choose to forget what it was like to be a teenager/young adult. As for me, I wasn’t quite an angel myself. Of course, I don’t want to be asked those hard questions by Princess. I really don’t want to lie either. So, do I regret some of my choices? I can’t say regret is the right word but I do wish sometimes that I made a different choice. Believe me, I’m glad that God is a God who forgives.

As a mother, we want to protect our daughters. We want them to make all the right choices in life. We only want the best for them. Of course, they have to learn on their own and make mistakes too. But, let’s face it…times are different now. We can’t just let our children have the same freedoms we did. We live in a very dangerous world with dangerous people. So, what’s a mother to do? I guess we raise our daughters the best we can with a strong sense of self (self-confidence), pride in themselves and their actions, integrity, honesty, compassion, morals and values. We pray everyday for God to protect and guide them. Then we trust…trust them and trust God!

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4 Responses to “Being a Middleagedmom Raising a Daughter”

  1. Emily Says:

    I have thought a lot about this subject, since I wasn’t an angel myself. My mother on the other hand was an angel (at least thats what she says 🙂 And I remember being a teenager and her talking to me about what was and wasn’t okay. What she said never really stuck with me and I usually took the attitude “how would you know” (not something I’m advocating). I’m hoping that if I can be honest with my kids about the things I did, and why if I could do it again I would do it differently, that it resonates with them a little more.
    Hopefully they can lean from my mistakes since I will be able to tell them how those choices affected me.
    Maybe this is all wishful thinking and I’m sure to some extent they will test the limits no matter what we tell them, but hopefully we have instilled them with good values to make good choices.

  2. middleagedmom Says:

    Hi Emily,

    Nice to hear from you again! I totally agree with you. My mom
    was also a “good girl” when she was younger. I didn’t realize (until having children of my own) how hard it must have been to be my mother, esp. in my rebellious days. I hope (like you) that my children will be able to learn from my mistakes, at least some of the mistakes. I also know that they will not always follow my “lead” and will have to learn from their own mistakes. I also hope that we do a good enough job of instilling good values in our children that they can make good choices. I know that I really have to put my trust in God!
    Being a mom is truly one of the hardest “jobs” in the world!
    It’s nice to know that there are moms like you who are going through the same things as I am! It’s really an encouragement!
    Thanks for sharing!

  3. kristajean Says:

    As a momblogger I enjoyed your post.
    It is hard to think of our precious little innocent babies ever being out in the “real world” isnt it? I know when I look at my 6 month old I just want to protect him so much. I am going to do my best to raise him to be a Godly boy, Godly teen, and eventually Godly man- crazy to think of him as ever being a man!

  4. middleagedmom Says:

    Hey Kristajean,

    By the way, you have a great name!

    Thanks for your comments! Yes, it surely is difficult to think of
    our little ones as growing up, esp. in these times. I wonder if our parents felt the same way about us? I commend you for wanting to raise your child up in a Godly way. We surely do need Godly men in this world. I know there’s a great book by James Dobson about raising boys. I can’t remember the title but my cousin read it prior to her son being born. If I remember the title I’ll post it. I’m sure you can search online for it. Thanks again!


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