Confessions of a Middleagedmom

surviving motherhood in the “middle ages”

About Me Updated & Thoughts on More Children February 6, 2010

Filed under: baby,blogging,children,Christianity,family,health,middleaged,moms,women — middleagedmom @ 10:15 pm
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I thought it was about time to update my About Me page. I realized that I wrote that a while ago. I can’t believe how much has changed since I first started this blog, especially going from a mother of 1 child to a mother of 2 children.

On a related note, one of my girlfriends recently asked me if I wanted to have another child. I told her yes but that I didn’t want to become pregnant again because I didn’t think my body could handle it. I mean seriously being closer to the back end of my 40’s has really taken a toll on my body. When I look at photos of me just 4 years ago, I can’t believe how much white hair I have now. That just blows me away! I don’t even mean the changes in my outward appearance. I really mean the changes in my health.

So, I do not plan to get pregnant again. If there is a possibility in the future, I would love to adopt a baby boy. I’ve always loved the idea of adoption. One of the biggest drawbacks to adoption is the cost.

If you have an adoption story, I’d love to hear about it. Please share.

For now, I’ll leave it all in God’s hands… the best place to be.

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MYOB! September 3, 2009

Filed under: baby,children,discipline,family,middleaged,moms,sisters,Uncategorized — middleagedmom @ 11:30 pm
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If you’re a parent, then you’ve probably experienced a child crying or screaming in a public place. It really doesn’t matter whether the child is crying because he/she is having a tantrum, tired, or just fell and scraped a knee. As a parent, you ALWAYS feel self-conscious and sometimes embarrassed.  Partly because you know that people around you are staring at you and your child.

So, what does a parent do?

I have to say that I’ve experienced this more than once. A lot of my stress during these crying episodes in public really have to do with where we are. If we are somewhere that’s quite loud or filled with lots of children, then I’m not usually as stressed about it. I’ll usually let my child cry and fuss until they settle down. It usually doesn’t last too long.

If we happen to be in a place that is quiet, then my stress level flies off the charts. Once when we were at Barnes and Noble, Baby decided that she wanted to climb and play on the “stage’ area in the Children’s section. She was actually copying her sister. The difference? When I asked Princess to stop playing , she did. When I asked Baby to stop playing, she had a little tantrum. She first started fussing and then it turned to full on crying. She refused to move away from the “stage” area so I told Mr. MaD to get her off. When he did, she decided that she should squirm around and flail her arms and legs. She did this all while still crying. I finally told Mr. MaD to take her outside until she settles down.

Now if this had happened in an airplane, I don’t know what I would do. You can’t really escape to anywhere else. Sometimes, it’s just plain inconvenient to pick up and leave. If I were in line at a grocery store and the next person to pay, I probably wouldn’t leave. I’d probably let her cry. Then I’d try to talk to her to calm her down or I’d try to distract her.

I think as parents we have a responsibility to respect other people’s feelings and personal space to a degree. If I had to take my child away from a situation/place because she is crying, I would never get anything done. Maybe that’s a little bit of an exaggeration but  you know what I mean.  I also believe that other people need to respect my personal space and my feelings. It’s easy for strangers to judge a parent’s choices and a child’s behavior. It would be nice to see a little more compassion from other people.

So what would you do if you saw/heard a child crying in a public place?

Would you be like the man in Georgia who took matters into his own hands while shopping at Wal Mart? His philosophy of life doesn’t include the idea that one should mind their own business. He decided to first tell the mother that she should make her child be quiet. When that suggestion didn’t work, he went up to the little girl and slapped her in the face approximately 4 times. Unbelievable! He was arrested for cruelty toward a minor. His comment to the mother, “See I told you I would shut her up. “

 

Wordless Wednesday August 5, 2009

cleanwell soapbottle

 

Weissbluth Method Blog July 9, 2009

A while ago, I wrote a post entitled Could It Be Happening? to share about Baby’s possible elimination of her morning nap. I just received a comment from Dan Weissbluth (Dr. Marc Weissbluth’s son) informing me that he has started a blog with his father.

Although the Weissbluth Method Blog does not specifically address sleep issues it does refer to sleep as it is related to other issues. The blog will not be giving out personalized medical advice (for obvious reasons). Check out the blog is you’re interested in learning more. If you really want to learn more about sleep issues in particular than you should read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. You can read a review about the book here.

Baby’s morning naps are still inconsistent. Some days she naps in the morning for a good hour and a half (like yesterday). Other days (like today) no napping after being in the crib for 45  minutes. Then again, who wants to nap with poop in their diaper.

 

Wordless Wednesday May 20, 2009

Filed under: baby,children,family,toddlers — middleagedmom @ 3:14 pm
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pointing

 

Could it be happening? May 15, 2009

Filed under: baby,children,family,moms,toddlers — middleagedmom @ 3:22 pm
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Could Baby be losing her 1st nap? Yesterday and today she decided she did not want a morning nap. Sometimes it’s because she poops when she’s in the crib and she hates a dirty diaper. Then once I take her out, there is no going back. Sometimes I think she is just overtired and gets so wired that she can’t sleep.

That being said, why in the heck does she fall asleep in the car when we go out around morning nap time? Obviously, she still needs a morning nap!

I don’t believe in such a thing as “catching up” your sleep. If Baby misses her morning nap, she still takes her afternoon nap, maybe a little earlier. She’ll sleep her usual 2 hours not longer. Okay, maybe once in a great while she may sleep more. Then at night she’ll go to sleep usually around 7:30pm and sleep all the way to 6:00am. She does not sleep longer if she misses her morning nap. So I don’t believe that she can catch up if she misses a nap that she needs.

That’s why I’m such a “routine” hound when it comes to naps. Some of my friends think I’m the “Nap Dictator” because I’m so strict when it comes to naps. I truly believe that there is a certain amount of time (a magic window) that your child can handle being awake. After that amount of time is up, it’s time for a nap. When you miss that time for nap or it’s late, your child becomes wired and fussy. Sometimes even fighting going to sleep. I can truly vouch for that!

Some people tell me to let Baby sleep in the car on the way to an activity or after an activity.  I try to avoid that as much as possible since that kind of sleep in not considered restorative.  Restorative meaning the kind of sleep that makes you feel refreshed and renewed when you wake up.  (Read more about it in the book I refer to below.)

If you’ve done the prerequisite reading before having a baby, you’ll notice that most books say that children need a certain amount of sleep a day and that they do need naps. Research shows that children who nap are usually happier (less fussy) and learn more effectively.

My go to book when I have to deal with sleep issues is, “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. This book really taught me how to deal with my children’s sleep issues. I have to say for the most part my children are good sleepers.

When parents ask me, “Do your children sleep alone?” I say, “Yes.” A lot of moms tell me that they don’t know how to get their children out of their beds or that they have to lie with their child until their child falls asleep. Whew, that get’s tiring after a while.  I know because I’ve been there. In the end, I had to let my children cry themselves to sleep. Yes, it’s hard. I felt my heart breaking at the sound of their wails. But, for my sanity and for their health, crying was the way to go. After a few day, they could sleep on their own even if I put them down awake.

Princess lost her morning nap around 16 months. I think Baby will be losing her nap soon or in the next few months.

 

In Search of the Snug-Tub Deluxe May 6, 2009

Filed under: baby,children,family,toddlers — middleagedmom @ 2:25 pm
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I have to say that I’m a little frustrated. I’ve been searching for a few weeks now for the Snug Tub Deluxe.  It’s an inflatable bath tub that you can use for your toddler. The Snug Tub Jr. is smaller but I like the deluxe because it can grow with your child. Baby is still in her infant tub and is getting so active that I’d like to move her to another tub that fits inside of the regular bath tub.

The problem is that the Snug Tub Deluxe is no where to be found! I’ve checked all the stores in my area and they don’t have them. One store owner even told Mr. MaD that they don’t make them anymore.  What? I checked online and no one has them online either. They all say they’re out of stock.  Some say that it won’t be in until mid-May.

I finally found out who manufactures it. It’s a company called Kel-Gar. It was founded by a mother who found a need for baby items. I decided to email them to tell  them about my dilemma and ask them if they are going out of business or not. The next day they replied informing me that they are still in business (can’t trust the store owner). They said that the Snug Tub Jr. will be in stores in mid/late May. Then the most depressing news! The Snug Tub Deluxe will no longer be sold in the United States! I can’t believe it! I am so sad.

So, here is the tub that I had to settle for until I can get my hands on the Snug Tub Jr. It’s the Munchkin duck tub. I really think that it is going to end up possibly freaking Baby out because the duck’s head is so darn huge! Plus it’s just a waste of space in the tub to have that huge head right by the water spout. I think the head is as big as a volleyball. It also makes a quack sound but it’s in my opinion it’s a little scary for a young toddler.

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I’m letting Baby play with this tub today to get her used to it. I’ll let you know how bathtime goes.