Confessions of a Middleagedmom

surviving motherhood in the “middle ages”

About Me Updated & Thoughts on More Children February 6, 2010

Filed under: baby,blogging,children,Christianity,family,health,middleaged,moms,women — middleagedmom @ 10:15 pm

I thought it was about time to update my About Me page. I realized that I wrote that a while ago. I can’t believe how much has changed since I first started this blog, especially going from a mother of 1 child to a mother of 2 children.

On a related note, one of my girlfriends recently asked me if I wanted to have another child. I told her yes but that I didn’t want to become pregnant again because I didn’t think my body could handle it. I mean seriously being closer to the back end of my 40’s has really taken a toll on my body. When I look at photos of me just 4 years ago, I can’t believe how much white hair I have now. That just blows me away! I don’t even mean the changes in my outward appearance. I really mean the changes in my health.

So, I do not plan to get pregnant again. If there is a possibility in the future, I would love to adopt a baby boy. I’ve always loved the idea of adoption. One of the biggest drawbacks to adoption is the cost.

If you have an adoption story, I’d love to hear about it. Please share.

For now, I’ll leave it all in God’s hands… the best place to be.


My Shower My Refuge September 22, 2009

Filed under: dad,family,middleaged,moms,women — middleagedmom @ 2:27 pm
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Update: Mr. MaD informed me that the new (2nd) showerhead actually cost $40 not $45 like I thought. Gee, we actually saved more money than I thought we did.)

As a mom, I barely have my own time. I know you understand. For me, I cherish my bath time. Why? Probably because it’s the only 10-15 minutes of my day that I have to myself. It’s my relaxation and stress relief. Besides relaxation, it’s one of the few things that helps me when I get an extreme sinus headache.

So, when that get’s disrupted…mommy gets very unhappy.

Last week our shower head was on its last leg. I asked Mr. MaD to soak it in clorox to clean it. Little did I know that the soak would end up being the demise of my shower head. For some reason, this time the soak lasted longer than it should. I’m not sure if it was forgetfulness on the part of Mr. MaD (he is also middleaged, you know?) or if it was his intent to soak it longer (long soak = better cleaning…logical?).

When I happened to check it in the afternoon, I noticed that the water had turned black with silver pools floating on top of it. I carefully lifted up the shower head from the bucket. Yuck! The chrome on the head had started to come off and was now floating around in the bucket. All the places where the chrome was eaten away was now covered in black spots. I rinsed off the shower head thinking that it might help. Nope. All of those patches of blackness became “raw” rough patches of metal.

As it turned out, I didn’t want to shower with a shower head that had rough metal  patches on it. I thought it would be a little dangerous for Princess to handle it. So I called Mr. MaD at work and asked him to buy a new one.

He quickly went to Home Depot on the way home to look at new shower heads. He came home with a Water Pik brand shower head that cost something like $50. Can you believe a shower head can cost so much?

That night when I took a shower I couldn’t believe how weak this shower head was. Where was my massage? That water was tickling my neck and shoulders. I’m used to having my shower “pounding” on my back! As soon as I got out of the shower, I interrogated Mr. MaD about his decision to get this shower head.

Me: Is this the same brand of shower head as the old one?

Mr. MaD: Yes, it’s a Water Pik too.

Me: This shower head is so weak! Is it one of this water saving shower heads?

Mr. MaD: Yes, it saves “blah..blah…blah”

Me: I don’t care how much water it saves! It’s the pits! You need to take out the filter or whatever is in there that’s making it so weak!

Mr. MaD: Okay.

Me: Was that the only shower head that they had?

Mr. MaD: They only had 2 different ones. That one cost almost $50.

Me: I can’t believe they only have 2 different ones. Okay, I’ll try it for one more night.

So the next night I tried it again. As it turned out, Mr. MaD could not remove anything in that shower head to make it stronger. I guess it’s just designed that way. After my shower, I complained again about how I couldn’t stand that shower head. Part of my argument about saving water was that although it uses less water, I have to take a longer shower just to shampoo and condition my hair. The shower was so weak that it took longer to rinse out the shampoo and conditioner. It was frustrating. The same thing happened when I had to wash Princess’s hair. Ugh

I asked Mr. MaD if he could return the shower head. He asked me to call Home Depot to find out what the return policy was like. I did. They said we could return the shower head if we had the receipt and the original packaging. We did! Hooray! Before Mr. MaD went to Home Depot, I checked on their website to see what kind of options they had available. I quickly found a less expensive shower head (less than $50) that had 6 settings and was not a water-saving model. I told him to look for something like that.

He returned later that night with a new shower head in tow. It was a 6 setting model without the water-saving feature. And it cost less than the first one he purchased. We were both happy. I had a new stronger shower head and he spent less money.

Have I mentioned this before…”Happy wife, happy life”

My shower…my refuge. 🙂


Will the Real Belly Please Stand Up? August 28, 2009

Filed under: family,health,middleaged,moms,random thoughts,women — middleagedmom @ 10:22 am
Tags: ,

OMG! Have you seen the picture of the woman posing in her underwear with her real belly…pooch and all? It’s  was featured in an issue of  Glamour magazine. There’s been a lot of buzz about it.  Check it out here.

I just saw her this week on a morning talk show. She actually looks great! She is supposedly a size 12 (average in US). You know how they say that TV adds something like 10 pounds to you? Well, she doesn’t even look like it. She is 20 years old and has never had children.

Many women (and some men)  have been talking about how it’s great to see a “real” woman in a fashion magazine. Others (men and women) are complaining that she’s fat and doesn’t belong in a magazine.

One thing that I find strange about all of this is how many women are so judgmental of this 20 year old model and her body. I wish women would be more supportive of other women. Why can’t women celebrate other women? A lot of the women that don’t like her appearance are complaining about how she should exercise and eat better. They are comparing her to themselves. It reminds me of  the Mommy Wars, the “fight” against working moms and stay at home moms. Why? Why are women “fighting” with other women?

I think she looks great in her underwear and in her street clothes. Hooray to Glamour Magazine for having the courage to put her in the magazine in the first place. The editor of Glamour was also on the morning talk show and she said that the response to the article was amazing and mostly positive. She also claims that her magazine has been changed because of the article and the response.

Being a mom of 2 girls, I sure hope there are some changes, both in media and in women.


I Know I’m Out of Shape! July 30, 2009

Filed under: health,middleaged,moms,women — middleagedmom @ 11:25 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Caution: This is going to be a long one!

I recently went to the doctor as a follow-up visit. (See earlier post.)

I’m not sure if being middleaged has to do with my health issues but it sure seems like it might. As I mentioned in previous posts, I was getting monitored for my enlarged thyroid. As it turns out, it is not serious and it actually could be hereditary. Besides the thyroid concern, I am supposed to get my blood sugar/glucose levels checked periodically since I had gestational diabetes with my last pregnancy. As of now, my glucose levels are good.

While talking to the doctor I mentioned a few other concerns that I had. For one thing, I noticed that my asthma attacks have been getting more frequent. Since I’m not considered a chronic asthma sufferer, I don’t always have medicine. It seems like my asthma is related to my allergies and the weather. The doctor prescribed me some Advair.

Another thing that I mentioned was that I had been experiencing some tightness (pain) in my chest  It was probably going on for at least a month and happening about 3-4 times a week, usually in the night. Sometimes I even feel like my heart is racing. The doctor explained that as a precaution, because of my age, I should take an EKG (electrocardiogram). Apparently, it is not uncommon for people in their 40s to suffer from heart attacks. An EKG tests the electrical activity of the heartbeat. My EKG test was performed right in the doctor’s office and the results were good. Besides the EKG, a treadmill stress test was also recommended.

To prepare for the stress test, I had to eliminate caffeine 24 hours before the test. Yikes, no coffee and no diet/regular coke for me! I also had to fast after midnight so that I wouldn’t accidentally “barf” while on the treadmill. I was asked to wear comfortable clothes and walking/running shoes. The test would take approximately 3-4 hours.

So a few weeks ago I went to the hospital to get my thallium treadmill stress test done. When I got there, I had to fill out and sign a bunch of papers. I also had to sign a paper confirming that I was not pregnant and if I was then I was choosing to take this test anyway. At the time I didn’t really realize what was involved in the test so I didn’t know why this paper was important. (BTW, I am not pregnant!)

After a few minutes, the nuclear medicine (Yes, nuclear medicine!) tech came to escort me into the exam room. He explained what would be happening throughout the test. For this thallium treadmill stress test, I received  an IV of radioactive dye so they could  take images of my heart at rest. After the initial IV, I had to wait a few minutes for the dye to get into my system. Then I reclined on an x-ray machine that goes back and forth over the chest. The x-ray takes about 20 minutes. Then I had to do more waiting until the cardiology tech escorted me to get all hooked up with electrodes. After the electrodes were placed on me, I went to the treadmill room where my blood pressure was taken and my electrodes were hooked up to a monitor. Then I did more waiting and waiting. Finally, the cardiologist came in with the cardiology tech and the nuclear medicine tech. The cardiologist was present at the test just in case my heart goes haywire during the test. Don’t worry, this is standard protocol.

The cardiologist asked me if I knew why I was taking this test. I explained about my tightness/pain in my chest. He said that it wasn’t uncommon but getting a stress test to check my heart was a good idea. The cardiology tech asked me to get on the treadmill so they could start the test. Just as she began the test, she noticed that one of my electrodes was not signaling so I had to get that adjusted and taped up. I got on the treadmill and started walking. For this type of test, the treadmill speeds up and inclines in 3 minute intervals. At first, the walking was pretty easy so I was feeling okay. Then about 30 seconds into the test, one of my electrodes was not signaling again, so the cardiology tech came alongside of me and taped me up again. This was happening while I was still walking. Not too easy! 

After about 3 minutes passed, they told me that it was going to speed up and incline. She counted down from 10 to 1.  At the beep, I had to start walking briskly and I could feel the “hill” I was climbing.  I was beginning to feel my heart pounding and my breathing getting harder. Then I could feel my legs getting weaker. The techs could tell that I was starting to tire. The doctor told me to keep going. I said I would try my best. He wanted me to get past the next level. The cardiology tech started counting down from 10 to 1. Then came the beep.

By now, I was running! All I could think about was I am going to fall down soon! I yelled out, ” I don’t think I’m going to make it!”  By that time another cardiology tech came in and stood behind me and put his hands on my lower back for support. The nuclear medicine tech and the doctor told me to hold on and keep going until they gave me another dose of the radioactive dye. I had to keep walking for 1 long minute after the dye was put into my IV. Then I heard the cardiology tech count down 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, ….1. Finally! The treadmill slowed to a stop and I got off with the assistance of the cardiology tech who was standing behind me. I felt like I didn’t have legs. If the tech wasn’t helping me to the exam table , I would have fallen.

As soon as I got to the table, I had to lie down and get my blood pressure checked. They continued to monitor my heart for about 10-15 minutes. The cardio tech emphasized that in “real life” I wouldn’t lie down after such a brisk walk/run. The cardiologist asked me why I thought I couldn’t go any farther. I said, “My legs couldn’t do it. I know I’m out of shape.” His stern reply, “Yes, you’re out  of shape. You should have been able to get through that level. Your heart looks fine. You should start going walking for at least 15 minutes a day. Go with your child.”

Okay, let’s get real here. Obviously I know I’m out of shape! I don’t really need a cardiologist to tell me that! I know he had good intentions but geez, he sure knows how to make someone feel so inadequate!

After leaving the treadmill room I had to wait another 30 or so minutes for the radioactive dye to circulate through my body. By that time I was starving!  I was allowed to drink some juice and eat some crackers. I was also instructed to drink some water to help the dye move out of my stomach. 

Then I had to go back to the 1st room and get another x-ray scan of my heart. That took about 15 minutes. I would be done if this scan showed enough of my heart. Well, this scan was not good enough! So I had to go to another part of the hospital to get a scan lying down on my stomach. One of the nuclear medicine techs took me downstairs and explained that actually about 90% of the people have to get this secondary scan. It supposedly has to do with your diaphragm blocking the view of your heart. 

On the walk downstairs, the nuclear medicine tech asked me how I was. I explained that this test was so hard for me. He said that he could hear me breathing hard. He was in another room and he could hear me! He said that I just happened to have the ” tough” cardiologist. I said, “I thought so!”

My treadmill stress test took over 4 hours! I was so happy when it was over. The first thing on my mind was a cup of coffee.  The whole day and night my legs were aching. It was as if I had just ran a marathon!

So did I experience a “light bulb” moment? Did the test motivate me to start exercising? NO!

Actually, I just asked Mr. MaD to dust off my little stair machine. I think I’ll start off small…maybe 1 minute at a time!


Took the Facebook Plunge! July 13, 2009

Filed under: blogging,family,friends,middleaged,social media,women — middleagedmom @ 4:53 pm

I finally did it! I joined Facebook.

I was holding out for a long time because I didn’t want to add another thing to my already overloaded plate. Not to mention that all this social media stuff can get a little addicting.  I mean blogging takes up a lot of time in itself.

So why did I do it? Well, an old friend sent me an invitation. Simple as that. I figured I would just join to talk to him and possibly some other people who I haven’t kept in touch with in ages.

After joining, I added him as a friend. Then I did a search to find some other friends. Interestingly enough, I didn’t find as many people as I thought I would or maybe they are using different names, esp. women. I actually tried to look for a few friends from middle school but I couldn’t find them on Facebook. Facebook also has this feature where you can add an alternate name. I think it’s especially good for married women so that you can add your maiden name. That way old friends can find you.

As of today, I have 3 Facebook friends. One of them is my cousin. Isn’t that too funny! I promise I have more friends IRL.


Health Watch – My Numbers July 10, 2009

Filed under: middleaged,moms,random thoughts,women — middleagedmom @ 11:41 am
Tags: , , , ,

Do you know your important numbers? I recently had a blood test to check my thyroid among other things.  A while ago, my doctor informed me that I had an enlarged thyroid.  I had to get a blood test done and an ultrasound to make sure it  wasn’t a tumor (cancer).  That was about a year or so ago. Recently I had another ultrasound and there weren’t any significant changes to my thyroid. That’s a good sign. My blood test also showed that my thyroid was functioning properly.

Besides my thyroid, another important part of the blood test was my glucose levels. If you’ve had gestational diabetes during pregnancy, then you know that you should get your glucose level tested regularly because you are at higher risk of getting adult-onset diabetes. My glucose levels were 89! Hooray! My doctor said that it had to be <99.  Of course, I should still eat healthily and exercise too.  I know I need to do better with both of those areas.

As for my cholesterol, those numbers were good also. My total cholesterol was 147. My HDL (healthy cholesterol) was 57. That should be >50. I think I can boost that up by reducing the amount of unhealthy fats in my diet and exercising more. I just mentioned to Mr. MaD that we should start eating more meatless meals every week. My LDL (lousy cholesterol) was 70. That should be <130. My triglycerides were 99. That should be <150.

Having that blood test makes me feel better about my health. I know that I still need to take better care of myself but at least I have some encouragement now. My hardest challenge is cutting back on sweets and junk food.

How are your numbers?


My Age is Catching Up to Me! July 3, 2009

Filed under: children,family,middleaged,moms,women — middleagedmom @ 4:27 pm

I know my age is catching up to me. The evidence is mounting.

Evidence #1 – Increase in concealer use

Last weekend I was getting ready to go to a graduation party and started applying my makeup. As I looked in the mirror I noticed that my wrinkles and lines looked deeper and my dark circles looked darker.  I quickly searched in my makeup bag for my concealer and began applying it on my forehead to lessen those frown lines between the eyebrows. Then I applied it on the sides of my nose and in those deep crevices on the sides of my mouth. No, they’re not smile lines they’re the edge of my sagging chubby cheeks. Then more concealer under my eyes. Then more on any blemishes or dark spots on my face. Whew! Should I have just applied concealer to my whole face?

Evidence #2 – Bifocals

This week I gave in. I decided to get bifocals. It was too much of a hassle to have to put on reading glasses everytime I needed to read something. Last week I was shopping at Whole Foods and I couldn’t even read the ingredients on a box because I forgot my reading glasses at home. My doctor assures me that everyone at “my age” have difficulty reading without a visual aid (aka: reading glasses).  He says he can almost predict what strength glasses I need because of my age. That’s scary!

Evidence #3 – The family car is a  mini van.

Yes, we finally got a van. When I was younger, I always said I would never drive a van. Don’t most young women say that. I mean driving a van is a symbol of motherhood, but what kind of motherhood? Soccer mom? Do the cool moms drive vans or not? After having my first child, I thought I could get by with my “crossover” SUV. Now after having 2 children, I realize how much easier it is with a van, especially one with automatic sliding doors. Not to mention, dealing with an aging parent who sometimes need to ride with my family. Often we would have to take 2 cars to go somewhere if my mother came along. Now, we have all the space in the world to carry a family of 4 including all our children’s stuff and any other passengers who tag along. Even if I succumbed to the mini van, I still told Mr. MaD to please take care of my “baby” (my SUV) since he’ll be driving that now.  Boo, hoo, hoo!

My sense of practicality is certainly overriding my vanity these days!

So now it’s official. I am certainly smack dab in the middle of being middleaged!  So yes, I am middleaged but please don’t call me OLD!