Confessions of a Middleagedmom

surviving motherhood in the “middle ages”

Facebook…to friend or not to friend? November 2, 2009

Filed under: friends,random thoughts,social media — middleagedmom @ 4:21 pm
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One of the biggest dilemmas for me when it comes to Facebook is whether to add a “friend” or not.

Recently, I received a friend request and I’ve been wondering if I should accept it or not.

The funny thing about social media…it’s really all about being sociable. Sometimes it means being sociable even with those who you don’t necessarily choose to be social with IRL. Twitter is a perfect example of this. Since you only share snippets of information at any one time, it’s still not really personal if you don’t want it to be.

On the other hand, Facebook tends to get more personal especially if you post pictures of yourself and your family and friends. The posts are usually about your personal life. The prompt FB uses (share) implies that you are  willing to and enjoy sharing information with others.

So what do you do when you don’t really want to share that information with certain people? What do you do if someone sends you a friend request? Do you ignore it? How long will you ignore it?

Does ignoring it mean that you don’t like the person? What does the person think if you don’t accept it right away? Up until recently I was only sending friend requests to certain people who I felt comfortable sharing my personal life with. If I received a friend request it was usually someone who I pretty much kept in contact with IRL.

This recent request came from someone who I knew a long time ago but haven’t seen or spoken to in many years. I think they found me through a mutual friend on FB. Hmmm…does that mean this person wants to reconnect? Wants to be “friends” again?

So, what do you do when you get a friend request and you’re not sure if you should accept it? Tell me why you’re hesitant to accept it and why you did or didn’t accept it. I want to hear from you!


One of my Pet Peeves December 5, 2007

Filed under: family,Uncategorized — middleagedmom @ 2:14 pm
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I know that we all have our pet peeves, geez, we’re only human. Sometimes those pet peeves are really little things like leaving the cap off the toothpaste (okay, maybe not little to some people). For me, one of my biggest pet peeves is uninvited visitors.

Uninvited visitors…what do I mean? Well, it’s those people (whether family or friend) who like to drop by on your door step without an invitation or without calling first. Okay, maybe to some people this doesn’t seem like a big deal. To me…it is so irritating! Maybe, hospitality isn’t one of my strengths.

 I realize that sometimes people have good intentions. For example, they’d like to drop off a gift. I do appreciate the gift but I would appreciate a phone call first even more! Do people think that I’m sitting around the house looking all spiffy and my house is spotless just so I can welcome uninvited guests any time of the day? It’s not even that my house may be messy or I may look disheveled (sp?). The biggest thing to me is that I like my privacy.  Meaning, when I’m at home, I may be doing something like blogging, crafting, napping, talking on the phone, etc. and I don’t want to be disturbed at that time. I have a few precious hours for myself and that’s how I’d like to spend them. By myself…or maybe just with my husband and child. What if I’m just in a crappy (for lack of a better word) mood that day and I don’t want to see or talk to anyone else?

Okay, I can understand if it’s an emergency and you have to drop by because I’m the closet person you know at that time. I can surely understand that…I’m not that cold-hearted. But other than that…try not to come over uninvited or without calling first. I think it’s just common courtesy to call someone before stopping by. And if you do call and they say they’re stepping out right now, don’t tell them that you’ll be there quickly and stay for only a little while. If they’re stepping out…they’re stepping out!

 Wondering why I’m bringing it up now? Well, because this just happened to me yesterday and once last week. So of course, I’m a little steamy about it all. And yes, it happened in the past also. Blogging just seemed like the perfect opportunity to let off some steam, esp. after telling Mr. MaD about it. I’m not sure if it bothers him as much as me but that doesn’t matter to me at this moment.

P.S. Did I mention earlier that the nurse told me that stress can make your gestational diabetes worse? Okay, but she said not to use that as an excuse!


Growing “Mean” Girls October 8, 2007

Filed under: children,Christianity,family,moms,toddlers — middleagedmom @ 9:09 pm
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Last night as I was flipping through channels on the TV (yes, I had a few minutes of TV time last night), I came across “Mean Girls” starring Lindsey Lohan. If you’ve ever seen it then you know that it’s about a group of “popular” girls who are mean to everyone else.

It reminded me of a story that my girlfriend shared with me on Saturday at lunch. She explained that her 7-year old daughter had a friend over to the house for a play date. My girlfriend’s friend called to ask if her daughter could join the other 2 for the play date. All 3 girls go to the same elementary school.  Some time during the day, my girlfriend’s daughter and the 1st friend decided to lock the 3rd girl out the bathroom. Then after opening the door, told the 3rd girl, “It’s all your fault!” I don’t remember the other scathing comment but the 3rd little girl was crushed. She went home and told her mother all about it. Needless to say, the mother called my girlfriend to explain the situation and share her concern regarding her daughter’s hurt feelings. Mind you, my girlfriend was out all day and her husband was “supervising” this play date so she was shocked after receiving the telephone call.  After getting off the phone, she “lectured” her daughter about the proper etiquette of playing together and treating others nicely. She also explained to her 7-year old, “Mommy’s friend is not going to want to be friends with me anymore because you were mean to …….!”

When I was in elementary school, I could be considered a “mean” girl because of something I did. I believe it was in 3rd grade.  My friends and I decided we didn’t like the new girl so we locked her in the bathroom and held the door shut until she started crying. I don’t remember all the details but we did get scoldings from our teacher. (If by chance you were the girl in the bathroom, I am so sorry and I hope you can accept this late apology.)

Isn’t it funny how girls are always the ones to say, “I’m not going to be your friend!” or “I don’t want to play with you!” It’s amazing how it starts at such a young age and continues on, even into adulthood.

Since I have a daughter (and possibly one more on the way), I hope and pray that I raise a “nice” girl. A girl who has integrity and self-confidence. A girl who cares about others as well as herself. A girl who can stand up for what’s “right” rather than “following the crowd.” A girl with a strong character, inner beauty,  and Godly values.