Confessions of a Middleagedmom

surviving motherhood in the “middle ages”

Why I’m So Exhausted February 26, 2010

I am exhausted! Let me say it again. I am exhausted!

You would think I had a newborn in the house…no I don’t.  It’s just my Baby. I’m referring to my toddler who refuses to sleep on her own.

For the past week, she has decided that she does not want to sleep without her mommy. Sometimes, even her daddy. This isn’t the first time this has happened. In fact, about a month ago, we went through this same thing for almost 2 weeks.

Baby is a good sleeper for the most part. We have a routine for naptime and bedtime. After I read her favorite book, I put her down in her crib and tell her I love her and I say goodnight. Then I leave the room. She is awake when I leave the room and she puts herself to sleep.

Often when I tell people about her sleeping habits, they’re amazed that she can sleep on her own. I was always happy and grateful for that.

Now, I am utterly exhausted and frustrated. I am literally at my wit’s end about what to do and how to handle it.

This is her usual routine now. We still do our same naptime and bedtime routine except that when I put her down in her crib she starts crying and stands up. I still tell her I love her and goodnight then I leave the room. She then continues to cry after I leave. The crying escalates to screams. She calls me and her daddy. She asks us to take her down from her crib. This usually goes on for at least 30 minutes. She may quiet down for a little while, maybe 5 minutes. Then it starts again.

In fact right now, she is crying and screaming, “mommy and daddy”! She has been crying for the last 45 minutes or so. Today she fell asleep on the way home from the store. I put her down in the crib while she was partially awake. (She woke up when I took her out of the car seat). After about an hour, she woke up screaming and crying for me.

So, this may not seem strange but her usual naptime lasts 2-3 hours. Not too mention that she only had a 15 minute nap yesterday because of all this crying and screaming. Last night, she had an interrupted sleep due to her crying and screaming episode that happened about 3 hours into her sleep.

I’ve tried so many things but all have seemed to fail. I guess maybe I should keep a sleep log which I haven’t done. I have tried other techniques from  Dr. Weissbluth’s book, “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child”.

So now what should I do?

  • Keep a sleep log
  • Reread “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child”, especially the chapter pertinent to my child’s age
  • Search the internet for helpful advice
  • Be patient, persistent, and consistent
  • Pray often!

I think that hardest part will be having patience. With my second child, I seem to be less patient. Maybe it’s because Baby is so different than Princess when it comes to sleep issues. I know people say you shouldn’t compare but it’s so hard since my frame of reference is from my sleep training experience with Princess. Then I again, I have to attribute some of my impatience with my age. I mean now that I’m older (remember closer to 1/2 a century than not) I can’t tolerate lack of sleep as much as I could when I only had 1 child.

So, what’s a middleaged mom to do?

PRAY!

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About Me Updated & Thoughts on More Children February 6, 2010

Filed under: baby,blogging,children,Christianity,family,health,middleaged,moms,women — middleagedmom @ 10:15 pm
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I thought it was about time to update my About Me page. I realized that I wrote that a while ago. I can’t believe how much has changed since I first started this blog, especially going from a mother of 1 child to a mother of 2 children.

On a related note, one of my girlfriends recently asked me if I wanted to have another child. I told her yes but that I didn’t want to become pregnant again because I didn’t think my body could handle it. I mean seriously being closer to the back end of my 40’s has really taken a toll on my body. When I look at photos of me just 4 years ago, I can’t believe how much white hair I have now. That just blows me away! I don’t even mean the changes in my outward appearance. I really mean the changes in my health.

So, I do not plan to get pregnant again. If there is a possibility in the future, I would love to adopt a baby boy. I’ve always loved the idea of adoption. One of the biggest drawbacks to adoption is the cost.

If you have an adoption story, I’d love to hear about it. Please share.

For now, I’ll leave it all in God’s hands… the best place to be.

 

Happy New Year! January 5, 2010

Hello World!

Happy 2010 to all of you! I can’t believe it’s already another year. I can’t believe it’s been a decade since Y2K.

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season. Ours flew by with all the busy-ness of Christmas and New Years. For some reason it seems as if we had a lot of dinners and parties to attend. It felt like we were hardly ever home! I think my girls thought it was normal to go out every night.

Here are some photo from the holidays.

Gingerbread house making with the 2 girls…fun, fun, fun. Princess was really into tasting the candies this year.

The final product. Princess on the left and Baby on the right. Mr. MaD helped Baby do her gingerbread house. 

Here is the gingerbread house that Princess made in school. Mr. MaD said she could pick out her gingerbread house on the shelf among all the others without seeing her name on the plate.

And the stockings were hung…but not by the chimney.  They are hung out of reach of the girls.

This year Princess was so into this nutcracker. It’s the biggest of the 3 nutcrackers that I usually put up. After she saw the Wonderpets Save the Nutcracker DVD, she couldn’t stop playing with this.

Here are the goodie bags I made for Princess’s preschool classmates. Contents: Book, Scented Stickers, Pencil, and Trader Joe Organic lollipops.

Baking this year took a backseat to my sewing projects. Here are the cookies that finally got baked for the neighbors. This year it was chocolate chip and snickerdoodle blondies.

Isn’t this Christmas tree beautiful? It’s not traditional but it’s so pretty. I can’t claim it since it isn’t mine. It belongs to Mr. MaD’s cousin. We attended a Christmas party at her house.  I want this tree!

And last but not least…my all time favorite drink of the season!  Starbuck’s Gingerbreat latte! Mr. MaD surprised me one night while I was wrapping presents. He even got me a larger size than normal. What a treat!

I really hope you all enjoyed your holiday season. Most importantly, I hope you took time to remember the real reason we celebrate Christmas…the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

May God bless you and your family in 2010!

P.S. I hope to post more since the holidays are over.

 

Oh So Scared! July 1, 2009

Filed under: children,Christianity,family,moms,toddlers — middleagedmom @ 11:37 pm
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Last week  I had one of the scariest days of my life!

Baby and I went on an outing to the zoo. It was a nice day to be out and about. Baby was excited from the beginning when she saw the birds flying around. We did our usual route checking out the elephants, giraffes, zebras, rhino, hippo, etc. She especially enjoyed the monkeys since they were so noisy.

 We also went to the petting zoo for a quick walk through. It was very crowded with families and summer school students. Baby had a blast looking at the animals and all the children running around.

After a snack break, I decided to leave since Baby was getting tired. One of the things that she enjoys doing right now is walking. She actually walked around the zoo more than her sister did at the same age. She also doesn’t want to hold my hand while walking.

So we started walking towards the exit of the zoo. Baby was walking beside me as I pushed the stroller. She had a great big smile on her face. Just behind us was a family of about 5 people.

In an instant, Baby decided to turn around and walk the opposite direction. I looked down then looked back and saw her walking away. So I quickly turned around to get her. At the same time, a girl from the family behind us said, “O-Oh”.

Then it happened.

Baby walked right into the legs of the teenage boy. He wasn’t looking either.

Boom! She fell straight back onto the sidewalk! Yes, even her head hit the ground! It was like I was watching a movie in slow motion. You know it’s happening but you can’t do anything about it. The family was the first to pick her up since she was in the middle of their group. Then I scooped her us as she wailed uncontrollably. I felt her head for a bump and looked for any cuts. There were none.

The next thing that came to my mind was a head injury. Could she have a concussion? The family was concerned and gathered around us as we sat on a nearby bench. I told them that she would be fine. I consoled her until she stopped crying.

Inside, I was worried sick.

I quickly put her back in the stroller and walked out of the zoo. As soon as we exited the zoo, I called the doctor. I wanted to know what kinds of signs I should be looking for in case of a serious head injury. I also called Mr. MaD.

When the nurse called, she asked if Baby was walking funny like she was drunk or if she seemed extra tired. She also said to watch if she throws up. I told her that Baby was already napping  so she told me to try and wake her up. If she stirs and wakes up then she should be okay. If she doesn’t want to wake up at all ,then I should take her to emergency. She also told me to watch her for the next 2 days or so.

After I got off the phone I quickly went to Baby’s room and rubbed her leg. She stirred and moved around so I felt so much better!

When Mr. MaD got home, I filled him in on what the nurse told me. Baby was already getting up from her nap. Mr. MaD decided to call the doctor himself and asked to bring Baby in just in case.

The doctor looked Baby over. He checked for a bump on her head. He asked if she cried right away or did she go unconscious first. I said that she cried right away. He also checked her reflexes. She was alert and very active. That was a good sign! He told us to watch her for unstable walking (like being drunk), extra tiredness, and vomiting more than once. If we see any of those symptoms, we should take her to emergency right away. He also instructed us to wake her every 2-3 hours throughout the night. After about 36 hours of being symptom free, Baby should be fine.  He reassured us that falling from Baby’s height is not as bad as falling from a higher height (like the bed or from my height).

Baby did fine at night. The next day she was back to her active self. I was so relieved that she was okay. I have never felt so scared in my life. Nothing like this ever happened to Princess so I was not prepared for it. I also felt a lot of guilt for not being right there by her side or not watching her more carefully. I prayed so hard for everything to be okay. I thank God that Baby was fine. I know that God was watching over her.

 

Gosselin Hope in God June 22, 2009

Filed under: children,Christianity,dad,family,life lessons,moms — middleagedmom @ 10:22 pm
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Update: TLC has suspended filming the series until August. I hope that God uses that time for healing.

Yep, I’m adding in my 2 cents. Forget the money talk.

I’m saddened by the news of Jon & Kate’s decision.

I already had a feeling that the big D word was around the corner. Wasn’t it just a few months ago that one of them said that divorce was not an option or something to that effect?

I am disappointed.

The thing that really strikes me as amazing is that I haven’t heard the word “God” come out of their mouths in recent months. Why? What happened to their belief in the power of prayer?

I remember when Kate was going in for her plastic surgery and Jon prayed for her before the surgery. I was happy to see that they made prayer a priority. I remember how they mentioned that the time the spent together after the surgery was good for their relationship. Communication was the key. I also remember when they went to California to give their testimony at a church. Remember their vow renewal in Hawaii?

So what happened to God in all of this?

I’m sure you’ve heard of the image of a triangle in reference to marriage. Imagine an isosceles triangle with you at one point on the bottom and your spouse at the other point on the bottom. God is at the top point.  As you and your spouse move closer to God (meaning you follow the line up to God) you move closer to each other. If you only move closer to your spouse (you move from your point across to your spouse) then God gets lost in the marriage.

Somehow God got lost in the picture. The one thing I do believe is that God wants the best for marriages, even Jon & Kate’s marriage. I believe that God wants the best for those children too.

If we remember that God is first in our lives, then we remember what is important in our lives.

(Proverbs 3:5-6 ) Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

 

Small Talk Six (on Sunday) – Our Hero June 21, 2009

Filed under: children,Christianity,dad,family — middleagedmom @ 3:28 pm
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Want to join in?  Go here to learn how and  to view the weekly list Small Talk Six topics for 2009.

Today’s topic is “6 things you think the father of your children deserve to have.” You can answer this with a list of 6 words, 6 phrases, 6 sentences, 6 paragraphs, 6 photos, 6 videos, etc . . .

 

So here’s my list:

  1. A wife that loves him and supports him in all things.
  2. A family that loves God first and foremost.
  3. Rest and relaxation with some fun thrown in.
  4. Spending quality time with his children.
  5. The best that God has in store for him.

Although this looks like a pretty good list, there is so much more that Mr. MaD deserves. There are all the little things too like a home cooked meal of his favorite foods, a day playing golf with his friends, a car with working a working air conditioner, a nice vacation with me. The list could go on and on.

He’s a great father to our children and a great husband too! The girls love their daddy immensely and are always excited to spend time with him. He is truly our hero. We couldn’t do life without him.

We thank God for blessing our family with a husband and father who loves God and loves us. Happy Father’s Day, Mr. MaD!

 

What My Mother Taught Me About The Golden Rule June 19, 2009

Filed under: childhood,Christianity,family,life lessons,moms — middleagedmom @ 5:26 pm
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The Golden Rule – “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”

My mother claims that she learned about The Golden Rule after she attended Vacation Bible School as a child with 2 of her neighbors. 

As a child, I can still remember my mother telling us that we should always treat people the way we want to be treated. She would often remind us that we should be respectful to people who were different from us or who were less fortunate than us. I can remember when she would tell us not to laugh or stare at someone if they “talked funny” or “walked funny”.  Of course, that probably happened more often than she wished, especially since young children are always laughing at things or saying inappropriate things (due to their age not their ignorance).

I think much of this belief in The Golden Rule comes from my mother’s disability too. My mother became disabled with an auto-immune disease when I was a young child. She was unable to work most of the time. She would often need assistance to do simple tasks. Having a disability gives you a different perspective on life and on people.

This belief was passed on to me by my mother.

Just last night I was having a conversation with one of my cousins. She happened to be hanging out with on of her friends when I called her. We somehow got on the topic of things that she does not like. Her friend answers the question with this response, “We don’t like __________.” (Fill in the blank with an ethnicity. I will NOT print the actual word used by them.) After the response, they started giggling. I was FURIOUS! I told them that I was not laughing and that the response was inappropriate. They claimed that they were joking.

Believe me, I would never say anything like that about another person’s ethnicity or ethnic group even if it were a joke.  I would not expect anyone in my family to make a comment like that. Not only did I feel the comment was inappropriate, I felt it was just plain wrong. One of the things that irritated me was that we have friends (close friends) that are of that particular ethnic heritage. My cousin also knows some of these people. Yes, I know that you’re thinking it’s just downright prejudice. I agree.

I hate to say it but it really is a reflection on their parents. Those kinds of views are passed down by parents to children.  When children are younger, they don’t dislike anyone based on age, race, religion, disability, or economic status. Let’s face it…children like all other children when they’re playing. Okay, maybe not the bully who cuts in front of them. The reason why children grow up to be young adults who make inappropriate comments about other people based on their race is because that’s what they lived at home.

It’s true what they say, “Children live what they learn.”

I will be having a conversation with my cousin very soon. I blame some of it on immaturity but most of it on ignorance.

I am grateful that my mother raised me to live The Golden Rule. I may not always get it right, but I sure do try. I hope I can do the same for my children.